Red River Gorge

Yay, the Red! Home of sport climbing in the southern midwest, and one of the best collections of crags on the east coast. The name is appropriate: red sandstone, and significantly easy grading. Lot of jugs, lot of pockets, and mostly overhanging jumpy sporty fun. I adore the gymnastic style of climbing that prevails here, and it's a great ego lift to grit your teeth training at the New, then send at the Red. It's also the place to go for your first outdoor lead- the routes are similar to the types of difficulty you might find inside a gym, with the close bolting and frequent crowds. Muir Valley is especially friendly, thanks to the work done by the RRGCC. Free clipsticks, paved trails, metal plates with the route name and grade. Because of this friendliness, the red is known for the hordes of gym-to-craggers that descent upon rural Kentucky every fall. It wasn't so long ago that I was a begginner, so I'm sure they all appeciate the training wheels.

One huge downside of the Red is the traffic. Holy shit, this place is popping. Good thing if you want to meet people, bad thing if you want to get on anything. No mention of the Red is complete without a visit to Miguel's Pizza, a gear shop/pizzaria/campground and central hub of the climbing community. Every annoying climbing bro from Maine to Michigan has that stupid shirt with the creepy smiling man on the back. (Including me. and who tf is that creepy smiling man? For the longest time, I thought he was just some kind of cryptic entity, vagabond of evil, but it turns out he's just the pretty normal guy that runs the joint.) Unlike the NRG, you'll find that climbing is the THING here, the main thing and the only thing. Though there's also an interesting history hidden underneath all these well polished rocks, specifically artifacts of prehistoric occupancy by indigenous people, beginning with the Paleoindian period. Rock shelters hiding plant materials and other relics, such as woven mats and leather moccasins that stay well-preserved in the dry, nitrate-rich soils found in rock shelters. Despite my dissapointment in the heavy traffic these ecosystems experience, I think it's a good thing that climbing is becoming more accessible. And in the end, these routes are gorgeous and top notch. You haven't experienced the best a crag can be unless you've tried red sandstone, the way it flows and bends creates some of the best climbing you can find, like living pieces of art. I like the red a lot, but unfortunately the only times I've lived near the red were when I lived at the new. Why would I drive three hours and wait in line for world class climbing when I could just walk outside, ya know? Despite this, I hope to be better acquainted with the Red in the future. Maybe I'll go through a sport climbing phase when I break my legs trad climbing!

notable routes

snozzberries 5.11d

A thin sequence to an amazing dynamic roof crux that requires a reach over to a paddle dyno on shitty slopers, clenching your abs to absorb the swing. Scaryyy. If you're bad at this sort of thing, like I was, be prepared for a big, fun whip or two. Or three.

holy grail 5.10d

A true classic! The moves are fluid and dynamic as you dance up this arching tower, filled with caving holes for a good sit and shake.

tradisfaction 5.10b

Ya'll know I had to put a trad route on here. This one's quite epic looking, a streaky right facing dihedral, similar to The Great White Dihedral at the nrg. I liebacked the entire top half of the crack, which got pretty tiring. I guess you could jam that portion, but that's no fun.

return of the manimal 5.10c/d

big, stretchy moves on slightly overhanging jugs. so much fun, probably even more satisfying if you are as reach challenged as I am.

surfing the whale's back 5.10b

Why do the people of Mountain project hate this climb? I can perhaps see where they're coming from: the slick feature-less rock is a stemfest up to either a crimpy mess or a committing split across a crack and a reach to a lovely, life-sparing jug. If it's rainy or wet, a no-go for sure. But I climbed this in the cool and dry fall, and it was wonderful. The mp page also mentions big hairy spiders, but unfortunately I didn't get to pet any.

notes

• There's always a festival going on: Red in a day, Rocktober, Werk the Red, Halloween in general, fall in general. A really fun place to dirtbag if community is your thing.
• I helped build the wooden steps to an outhouse in Muir Valley (see gallery below). And by help, I mean I stood around and put a screw or two in.
• If you don't lock your bike up, Saucy Steve (the guy whose been maken the sauce for miguel's pizza's since the big bang, on his own weird scheduale like some kind of pizza wizard) will take it for a ride. Or so I've heard.

gallery