Red River Gorge

Ah, the Red. Home of sport climbing in the midwest, and really the only place to go climbing in the midwest. The name is appropriate: red sandstone, and significantly easy grading. It's the place to go for your first outdoor lead- the routes are similar to the types of difficulty you might find inside a gym. Muir Valley is especially friendly, thanks to the work done by the RRGCC. Free clipsticks, paved trails, metal plates with the route name in grade? Although I find it a step too far, the hordes of new climbers that descent upon the Red every season must feel welcome.

One huge downside is the traffic. Holy shit, this place is popping. Good thing if you want to meet people. No mention of the Red is complete without a visit to Miguel's Pizza, a gear shop/pizzaria/campground and central hub of the climbing community. Every annoying climbing bro from Maine to Michigan has that stupid shirt with the creepy smiling man on the back. (Including me. and who tf is that creepy smiling man? I don't know, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.) Unlike the NRG, you'll find that climbing is the THING, the main thing and the only thing. Though there's also an interesting history hidden underneath all these well polished rocks, specifically artifacts of prehistoric occupancy by indigenous people, beginning with the Paleoindian period. Rock shelters hiding plant materials and other relics, such as woven mats and leather moccasins that stay well-preserved in the dry, nitrate-rich soils found in rock shelters. Despite my dissapointment in the heavy traffic these ecosystems experience, I think it's a good thing that climbing is becoming more accessible. And in the end, these routes are gorgeous and top notch. You haven't experienced the best a crag can be unless you've tried red sandstone, the way it flows and bends creates some of the best climbing you can find, like living pieces of art.

notable routes

holy grail 5.10d

A true classic! The moves are fluid and dynamic as you dance up this arching tower, filled with caving holes for a good sit and shake.

surfing the whale's back 5.10b

Why do the people of Mountain project hate this climb? I can perhaps see where they're coming from: the slick feature-less rock is a stemfest up to either a crimpy mess or a committing split across a crack and a reach to a lovely, life-sparing jug. If it's rainy or wet, a no-go for sure. But I climbed this in the cool and dry fall, and it was wonderful. The mp page also mentions big hairy spiders, but unfortunately I didn't get to pet any.

notes

• Werk the Red is a queer climbing festival I attend here every November.
• I helped build the wooden steps to an outhouse in Muir Valley (see gallery below). And by help, I mean I stood around and put a screw or two in.

gallery